There are times in life when things are going smoothly and all of a sudden it feels like the rug is being pulled from underneath you.
When this happens, it creates feelings of being unsettled, fear of the unknown, frustration, amongst many other feelings depending on the circumstances. I have recently been in this place. I have experienced many losses or many new beginnings depending on how you look at it.
In a period of one month, I started a new job, lost my uncle who I was very close to, lost my personal assistant and learned my adult son who was away is coming back home. This is a lot of transition in one month for anyone but especially for someone who likes things organized, predictable and safe.
During this last month I have felt many mixed emotions. There has been a lot of grief over what was. I reflected over many memories I had with my uncle trying to accept the reality of never have them again. I’ve thought about how different my house will be in terms of space and how I can best support my son through this life change. I’ve contemplated how to support my aunt who just lost her husband of over 30 years all while learning a new job in a position I’ve never held before. Then I lost my personal assistant, a person who was a huge support which caused me to have to interview & train two new people because the first replacement didn’t work out. It couldn’t have happened at a worst time.
Initially, I was frustrated, who am I kidding? I was mad. I had thoughts of why now, why all at once? I questioned why life had to be so hard, all the time and for me. I looked around and it seemed my friends had much easier lives than me. I wondered why my life couldn’t be simpler.
Then, I remembered because that’s life and more importantly the life I chose. The one constant in life is change, especially when you want to grow. I’m not the victim here, in my circumstances there are somethings I chose because I choose to grow (the new job, supporting my son, having a personal assistant). Then, some things are out of my control (losing my uncle) because that’s life. When things hit us all at once it can be hard to take a step back and see things logically instead of emotionally. It’s tempting to want them to go back to how they were.
The truth is my life appears harder because I’m always pushing my comfort zones. I’m always seeking growth, I made a decision to exchange comfortability for living a full, vibrant life with immense possibility.
When I changed my thinking to see this last month as an opportunity for growth, I was able to get excited about the possibilities that are available for me in this new season of my life. I can get curious about what I can learn about myself, others & life. I can open myself up to the possibility of finding a better assistant, mastering training, gaining patience (training takes a lot of patience 😏), having a more intimate relationship with my aunt and son and learning all the new skills that come with the new position I chose to apply, interview for and accepted.
This life isn’t happening to me, I’m creating it and that’s empowering! With this knowledge I can surrender my desire to control life and its circumstances and go with the flow of it with curiosity.
Your life isn’t any different. Life is not happening to you. You are creating it with every choice in every moment of every day. Take a moment and ask yourself how you want your life to look like. Then set the intention (our life is created through the power of the intentions we set) and then surrender, knowing it will come to pass.
What circumstances in your life do you need to change your thoughts about? Are there any areas you need to surrender and release control? Take a moment and write down the answers to these questions then share them with me in the comments. I’d love to hear about them.
I love you; I love you; I love you!
Sent with Unconditional Love,
Kamesha Tarell
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