My Story

Born to two drug-addicted parents and experiencing sexual,verbal, physical and emotional abuse as a child caused me to grow up with low self-worth, lack of boundaries and nonexistent self-love. 

My journey to self-love and acceptance began several years ago when my last abusive relationship ended.  At that point in my life I was successful in other people’s eyes.  I was married for over ten years, I owned a 5 bedroom 3 bath house on almost an acre of land, I had 3 attractive boys, I traveled.  I was living a life that some of my friends and family envied, everything looked good on the outside but on the inside I was depressed, scared and slowly dying.

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I WAS BEING ABUSED

This abuse was happening from a person I least expected to abuse me, my Pastor.  At the heart of abuse is power and control and he had power and control over me.  He controlled what I said, how I dressed, what I did, where I went.  I remember being afraid to speak up, ask questions or to miss a day from church.  I was full of self-doubt, shame and confusion.

Although I was being abused, when this relationship ended I was devastated.  The relationship ended because the church closed, not because I had the power to leave.  Learning of the inappropriate behavior that caused the church to close was a wake-up call for me. 

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 I was tired, I was scared and I wanted to make sure I never repeated this pattern again. 

 

 I began seeking and started questioning everything I once believed.  

I discovered the reasons abuse was comfortable for me.  My dad physically, verbally and emotionally abused me.  My grandfather sexually abused me, ex-boyfriends abused me, my Pastor spiritually abuse me, even my husband at the time was emotionally abusing me and the hardest truth to accept was I also abused myself.  I repeated abusive relationships because they were familiar.  I realized I didn’t protect when I myself because I didn’t feel worthy of protection. I also didn’t know what boundaries & loving me looked like.  

From there I started the journey to discover self-love.  I began to love, value and accept myself. I became whole and happy.  I began to make choices about relationships and opportunities from a place of worthiness.  I learned how to trust & believe in myself and walk in purpose and power.  

I want to help people who are feeling how I felt learn the tools that I used to pull themselves up and stop repeating the patterns of abusive, non-fulfilling relationships.  

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